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« {Texture Tuesday} - Free & Easy eDition | Main | Our Story »
Monday
Jun032013

one week, five days and fifteen hours later....

As I type this ….. it's been one week, five days and fifteen hours since John's doctor sat us down to say....your test results came back… your white blood cell count is high…..

Since then.... it's been a whirlwind…

Driving into the city…. a flood of doctors, nurses….tests….. waiting…. 

24 hours laters…. John you have A.L.L…. (leukaemia). Here's the plan…..
I barely remember all the information coming at us…. just that... treatment would begin immediately and John wasn't leaving the hospital anytime soon.

There are no words to describe it.....no way to prepare yourself for such a shock....
I wish we didn't have to go through this. I wish nobody did.

The truth is, cancer happens ….we are not alone or unique….. families fight cancer every hour, every day…….I'm so thankful John doesn't have to fight it alone. I know there are many out there...battling this disease all on their own.... 

Here's what I know for sure….today…this moment….

John is strong…John is faithful…. John is hope-filled…. John is not alone…..John can beat this.

We are strong….We are faithful….. We are hope-filled…. We are not alone….We can beat this.

Through this storm….there have been many blessings….. every single day since this journey began we have been showered with so many.

from early detection, to fast action….. to caring doctors… compassionate nurses….. exceptional care….  

from a small home town that loves John….reaching out…asking to help…. 

from our town's Lions Club arranging a suite for us to stay while in the city…… 

from my parents right across the street looking after Ben when Brett's working…. to our neighbours digging up gardens, planting flowers and cutting our lawn.

In a small town you are never alone. For that… I am so grateful….. 

I also have to say ... people are genuinely good.

quick story...
The first night at the hospital... I was lost…looking for the parking lot…. a stranger took mercy on me…. helped me find my car….. she then proceeded to give me her name and phone numbers….even offered me a place to stay….. We had never met before…..

Since then there's been so many people reaching out ….friends, family and strangers….offering places to stay, rides in the city…… help with my site, my classes….  our yard… 

So grateful....

John is hanging in there... he's had up days and down days..... through it all he's been such a trooper.... he doesn't complain...he just takes it all in stride.... He's a fighter...for sure....I'm so very proud of him..... 

This week I am easing back into my work….. finding my way.

I won't say it's easy…It's so very difficult.....it feels really strange… almost wrong…. picking up my camera was even a little scary…. 

There's something very difficult about moving forward when your love is stuck standing still…… 

I want you to know….. I appreciate all the love and support you have sent our way. So grateful.

::

Texture Tuesday will be back tomorrow… the theme for this summer's upcoming Texture Tuesdays will be free & easy…… I hope this is okay with everyone….. keeping things simple as we find our way….

I must sign off…. I am home for one more day…then back into Winnipeg I will go. Must keep busy....

Love and gratitude... always...

xo,

 

 

Reader Comments (79)

Oh Kim. I'm so, so sorry to hear this - I hope and pray that everyone remains so hope-filled and positive, and that John's recovery is full and complete.
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBrandi
Strength and peace to you, Kim, as you guys go through this. Thinking of you.
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKendra
Oh Kim.....you just touch my heart. Your gratitude still, your way of honouring the blessings that are still there. Wishing you lots of strength. You are in my thoughts...
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEllen B
How amazing the kindness of strangers! So sorry that your world has changed overnight, and you are having to go through this. Will be sending positive thoughts to you both!
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSusan
love you guys SO much. i know you will make it through this but i really wish you didn't have to.
i keep thinking of anything that might make a difference ~ what i keep coming up with is the wish to bring some form of normalcy to your lives ... transport john from that bed to his garden beds ~ to the halls of the hospital where he works and brightens EVERYONES day ... unjolt the jolt ... march those yucky cells into yesterday ...have him walk in the door at the noon town siren to greet you for lunch ... ben's tail thumping gently and patiently as you gently and patiently record and explain the latest techniques ... your dad popping in ... the boys being themselves ... and john calling you from the kitchen "kimmy!"... and ben taking you to the trail no matter the weather. it is difficult to lead a 'normal' life knowing yours isn't.
for now your normal may have changed, you will feel like you are in the twilight zone ~ it feels like you are in another world, but john is going to heal and you will return with the grace of god and the wonderful care john is receiving.
amen. it is like being able to see the sun peeking along the horizon after a storm ~ you know it will shine brightly again soon.
you are amazing souls who will weather this the best you can ~ it will be difficult for john to let others care for him and his family as he is so much the one for cares for one and all. i am so relieved you are able to put into words so eloquently, so truthfully, this leg of your life journey. as you say, there are so many fighting this disease every moment of every day ~ by sharing what you are going through, you are giving a gift to those who may feel alone by helping them not feel so alone.
you and i have spoken many times of the gifts we receive and how blessed we are ... in all this upheaval, you are continuing to give and john is continuing to give. bless your hearts. thinking of you constantly. praying for you constantly.
call me anytime ~ if you need a riding mate to the city or anything, anything at all.
love you.
xxo
pg
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterprairiegirl
So good to hear from you and that everything is going, if not good, acceptable for you and your hubby. Still keeping you in my thoughts and wishing this all goes quickly for you both. Many prayers to you and John and family.
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Hurst
With you both all the way - remember to focus on yourselves and not to worry about the courses. x
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulia
Kim,
I'm a bit of a lurker on your blog, but want to say hang in there. Almost a year ago, my husband was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic lymphoma while we were in Spain (we live in California). He went through very aggressive chemotherapy. There were several bumps in the road; it was not an easy fight. But now, he is in remission, going through maintenance chemo for another year and a half. I prayed a lot. I accepted a lot of help from friends (not something I was used to). One of the hardest things was helping our teenage kids keep their lives on track (or the best I could manage)
Through it all, I tried to keep my mind focused on what was most important . . . his health, the kids' stability. I let a lot of little things (which used to seem like big things) go.
Sending you lots of hugs and good thoughts. Know that you can make it to the other side.
Rinda
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRinda
We don't know each other, but I follow your blog. I have journeyed the cancer path three different and unique times, and, at age 70, have beat it back each time. Plenty of spunk and attitude really help. Humor. Find things to laugh about. You. The patient gets a lot of help, you...not so much...so nurture yourself. I hope you have someone you can unload with who knows how to honestly listen.
I don't look for sympathy. If we're lucky to live long enough, we'll find a speed bump on our path of one kind or another. Embrace the path and look for the gems of humor, of wisdom, of friendship...those surprising treasured gems that you don't expect to find, but have a way of finding you. You. Both of you.
Life is good. All of it. Even when it is difficult.
Peace, courage, humor, and a spritz of attitude...
Pat
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPat Denino
So wish I could do more to help from the other side of the Atlantic, but you are all in my thoughts I send love and positive thoughts your way... Massive hugs to you all....xxxxx
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterViv Halliwell
I'm sure the inner strength that you have, coupled with the support of friends and family, both 'virtual' and nearby will help the whole family get through this difficult period. Sending you postive vibes and thoughts from across the pond! xxx
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJane
I add you and your family to my prayers every single night...sending you good, healing thoughts, Kim. xo
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSherri B.
Kim Im praying for you all.
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa RedWillow
The goodness and mercy of the Lord chases us down and says, "Wait! Here's some more!" This is where the Lord uses His people --- you are surrounded with faith, hope, and love. Watch the healing manifest itself quickly. I declare this in the precious, matchless name of Jesus!!!
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMary Ann Potter
I understand what you are going through now. We have two children, both have had cancer but is ok today.
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranki-itte
and your sharing this is a gift in so many ways. I will add you both to my prayers.
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret
It takes a village, Kim and it is clear you have the village to help you through this challenging time. You are very fortunate for that and it's clear you know and appreciate that. On the wings of prayers ... laf
Kim, I had no idea. You and your family will be in my thoughts. Wish I could say or do more to help. So glad you have an amazing community around you.
I'm so glad your life is filled with so many sweet caring people - when I read about your friends taking care of John's plants I got a little teary :-)

I can't send flowers daily, but I began a new group of photos on Instagram to share some of my flowers with John. He doesn't need to be bothered with looking, it's just a way of sending good thoughts to him while he's on his road to recovery. #forJohnK I hope he's better soon, my plants may not last till fall - it's touch and go in my garden LOL

hugs to you!
Valerie
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterValerie
...will keep praying...
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjill
Kim, I so wish you you didn't have to go through this. Sending prayers to the One who knows what this feels like, and who cares for us deeply.
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterConnie Smiley
Sending you love and light...
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGerri Smalley
We never know how strong we are until we are tested. We never know how wonderful people can be until we lean on them. Much is revealed in the midst of crisis...
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKathe
Keeping John, you and your family in my prayers. I grew up in a small town so I know how much help you're getting. I'm happy for you. Be sure to take care of you, too.
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie R
So good to hear from you. Thinking of you and your family - take care.
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSheila
In the midst of your dark journey, those beacons of light are there to help. They were sent, Kim; they are not coincidences. I believe with you that you and John and your whole family will emerge stronger and victorious. But, oh! How we all wish you didn't have to endure. Since you do, my prayers go up each day and I'm sending you love, hope, peace ...

xo
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDotti
Keeping you all in my thoughts, Kim ...
Sylvia
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSylvia
You are not alone Kim, the battle is hard and very scary. I helped my hubby fight the battle against cancer, unfortunately his was an incurable form of cancer and he lost his battle. But in that 2 years we had so much help from so many people who reached out to us. You have an even wider scope of love around you and it will sustain you and give you strength. My prayers are with you and John and your family. He will be fine.
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPatricia Mark
Dear Kim

Thanks a lot for finding the motivation, the energy, the time to write so moving words to us when your heart is so troubled… we all are expecting better news, hoping your beloved John will be soon out of hospital. Good that you are full of hope, positive and confident in doctors.
We can all imagine the shock you had to face when the doctors announced the results… we all fear this for us as for our loved ones…we would like it to be just a nightmare, but unfortunately it’s the unconceivable reality…
I know around me several people struck by leukemia, among them a good friend of 48. She was detected with leukemia 10 years ago… along the years she has learned how to live with the disease, and even if she feels tired more often than a healthy person, she lives a normal life… I can tell you also the story of my son’s cello teacher… today I think he’s around 50 but 15 years ago when my son was about 14, his teacher was detected with leukemia, I know that at that time he went through difficult days and made several stays in hospitals… he was father of 2 young children at that time… I’ve had some news recently and learned that he has completely recovered and still teaches cello in our town music school and also gives concerts all over France.
I do hope that the doctors will find the appropriate treatment for your husband so that he can come back home very quickly and go back to normal life, I’m sure your deep love for him and this friendly environment will be a great help to John.
Thank you for sharing this nice picture of your loved husband, he looks so young , so healthy, so smart, how can we believe that he was struck at his turn? I’m sure that he will overcome the illness and win the battle.
This is my dearest wish.
Sending lots of love to you, odile lm (from France)
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterodile lm
Praying for John and your family! Blessings to all.
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDiana Foster
Such a beautiful post, Kim :'(
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarb
Keeping you and John in our thoughts xoxo
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKia and Zeno
Sending you love, light, and real prayers.
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCarol Hart
When I read your post, I got chills...chills for what you and your husband have been experiencing, chills for the suddenness of it all and the seriousness of it all. Chills for your being "displaced" in Winnepeg, at the hospital, away from your home and Ben. I pray that people will continue to reach out to you in your need.
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEvelyn in Oregon
i am sending prayers, love, light and healing vibes your way, my dearest.
erin
xxoo
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered Commentererin
Kim, sending prayers and healing angels to John, you and your family. Some normal activities are good to provide some sence of calmness in the midst of it all.
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNancy Lennon
I was happy to see this in my inbox. Happy to see you back, even if it is briefly. You take all the time you need, step back in now and then, when you feel you can. Please know I a praying for everyone, your whole family and sweet Ben. You will be amazed at how strong you are and you will be amazes at how good people are. I wish I could pop in and help, week your garden, walk your dog, but know that you have so many of us, from all over the world praying for you. Chin up sweet you! Wish there was more I could do.
xoxo
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercathy
Loving thoughts and prayers to you and your husband John.
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSherre Hulbert
Kim, I've thought about the two of you every day since we first heard the news. Prayers are being said for John and you and your family as you battle together...this bump in the road of life. Be strong and stay healthy! Big hugs to you and John!
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl M
Sending lots of love to you, and healing mojo for John!!! <3
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSandi Terry
I have kept you in my prayers since day one and I will continue to keep you there. Sending you hugs to you and your family at this time of need.
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTracy
So glad to see you tonight Kim...and so happy so many in your community are there for you...It doesn't surprise me though...small town living is unique and that's what I like about it...we all have times in our life when we wonder how we will take the next step but it is good to know that others have traveled the same road and from them we learn how to accept help and know that we are never alone...I'm so happy they are there for you...and that you are learning it's o.k. to take the many blessings that they offer..I envy them their closeness to you...because they can help immediately...

For those of us who don't live close...I'm sure you know that the one thing that we can consistently offer you is our prayers and love...love knows no boundaries and prayers travel on the wings of angels...so your long distance friends have you covered...and John and the boys also...Ben is also being really strong so I'm sending him special pats...make sure he gets them...

You know where I am, call anytime if you need me...in the meantime...I'll be doing homework and reading cookbooks.
xoxo
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercheryl c.
OMG I forgot to tell you what a beautiful photo of John that was and the look on Ben's face as he looks up...It tells the entire story of your "love" doesn't it...Beautiful Kim...a framer for sure...
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercheryl c.
Heartfelt prayers and thoughts to you and your husband (family too).
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKathy
Prayers to John and your family. God Bless.
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKim H.
This brought tears to my eyes... the beautiful photo, your and John's strength, the goodness and love that surrounds you... Kim, you and your family are in my prayers every day... I only wish I could do more. Be strong my friend, love and hugs xxoo
June 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnia
Thank you for taking the time to post this update. We've all been thinking about you and John and all your family. I can't imagine what it must be like for all of you to deal with such a dramatic change in your lives over such a short time, but it sounds like you have a wonderful group of people supporting you!

I live in Winnipeg, so if you need anything while you're in town - If you need a ride, or if I can help you find your way around, or do some shopping. Or if you feel like you need a break and some company for a while, I'd also be happy to take you out to lunch or for a cup of tea or for a photowalk in one of Winnipeg's beautiful parks! Like I said, if I can help, please let me know. My email is: prairiejill@gmail.com
June 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPrairie Jill
Best wishes to you. Calm and patience and be strong, darling.

xoxo
June 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterManderley
Such a beautiful, moving photo. Love and prayers to both you and John.
June 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren
Amazing photo of love. Thinking of you...
June 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

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