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« Texture Tuesday - Free & Easy Continues | Main | Friday Finds »
Saturday
Jul272013

Our Journey Continued

 

It's been 2 months and 5 days since our cancer journey began. Some days.....it feels like forever....others, it feels like a blink.

Recently.....

We thought we were getting close to a break...
The plan.... one more cycle of chemo, then get John home for a few months, before his transplant. But all that has changed. The details aren't certain.....nothing is..... But the 'home-thing' is not going to happen for at least another 4 months... maybe longer. This is a blow to the spirit.... especially for John. He entered the fourth cycle thinking he was on the home stretch....and now here we are.... just getting started. He hasn't been home since May 22nd. I know 4 months, 6 months.... a year is just a blip in the grand scheme of things... but when you are 'in it'.... it can seem like forever.

Life happens, things change...... there will always be bumps. But my oh my..... it can be so hard.

Now and then my mind used to wonder to the what-ifs of cancer. Everyone knows someone who's been hit by this terrible disease. I never thought it would hit so close....and I never imagined it would be this hard. 

But, I can't say it's a completely dark and lonely road. Just when we need it most a light shines bright....guiding us through....keeping us safe..... One gift of hope ...then another.

And so, it's the Light I will hold tight to...... when I begin to lose sight of hope I will close my eyes and wait for the Light..... through tears, even through anger..... I must trust it is there.

We have been blessed over and over in this life.... Small miracles around every corner. I have to believe this journey will be the same. God has a plan. We will be okay.

Just in case someone out there....is feeling alone... even hope-less..... Maybe this will help you too.

Taken from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

As you listen to birds calling to one another, hear also My Love - call to you. I speak to you continually, through sights, sounds, thoughts, impressions, Scripture. There is no limit to the variety of ways I can communicate with you. Your part is to be attentive to My messages, in whatever form they come. When you set out to find Me in a day, you discover that the world is vibrantly alive with My Presence. You cand find Me not only in the beauty and the birdcalls, but also in tragedy and faces filled with grief. I can take the deepest sorrow and weave it into a pattern for good.

Search for Me and My messages, as you go through this day. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with your whole being. 

John 10:27, Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:13

 (thank you Jo for reminding me of this book...and thank you Robyn Smith for sending it to me a few years back....)

In life, there are many trials....  It may be sickness, it may be  loss..... it may be heartbreak.... Sad things happen......

But I say, breathe deep dear friends.... hold tight to the blessings, even in the dark they are there...... Focus on the gifts in your day.... There's always one....open your eyes to see......open your spirit to feel.

Let's give thanks for the beauty in this world.....
our eyes to see it....our cameras to capture it......
Let's celebrate ..... We are not alone.

Love & Gratitude....

xo,

 

Reader Comments (71)

Sending you lots of hugs and good thoughts. Thank you for the inspirational thoughts today.
We thought my husband's chemo was over at one point, too, but then they decided to continue for another four rounds. It was heart-breaking, but in the end we believe it was the right course of treatment. Hopefully it will be the same for you two.
Rinda
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRinda
Life can change on a dime. Many prayers are with you. Please feel the love of strangers who have always thought so highly of you and are now in this journey with you. Thank you for keeping us updated for we all are concerned. You are such a positive person and this is helping you get through this most difficult time. Bless you.
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPeggy from PA
I am sorry to read about this latest disappointment, so hard to set your mind on a course and feel that you have the treatment under control only, to feel as if the rug has been pulled out from under you, yet again.

The cancer journey is frightening and difficult for the person suffering from the disease but also for their loved ones, who stand by, eager to help and support but often feel helpless to do what is needed or even, sometimes, to know what is needed.

I wish the best for John and for you, that you will find the strength you need to hold him up when he needs it, and that you both will emerge from this with a deeper understanding and appreciation for life and for one another.
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoanne D
So sorry to hear this, Kim ...
wishing you and John a lot of strength !
My positive thoughts,
Sylvia
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSylvia
Kim, I'm sorry you've hit another bump in the road...your strength and faith truly inspires. At a time when you need comfort, here you are offering comfort to others...this shows clearly who you are. You and your husband are in my thoughts and nightly prayers...I'm sending you good thoughts.
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSherri B.
Oh Kim i am so sorry to read this, i wish you and John all the best !
My good thoughts.
Patricia
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPatricia
You and John are in my prayers!!
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTammy
This brought tears to my eyes, both because I am so sorry things have taken this turn for you and John, but also because of your inspirational outlook. That quote from the Bible blew me away.
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarb
You are always so inspiring even through the dark things that happen in life. My friend, much love and wish you and John better days ahead. Thank you for the update and as always inspiration.
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarBbara Hurst
Oh, Kim, my friend ... I had a feeling on Friday when the FF post was late and brief. Then this morning I woke up, my heart filled with thoughts of you and John ... I opened my iPad and found your latest post. Sending love, hugs ... and most of all prayers ... for you both.

xo
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDotti
Sharing your journey is such an inspiration to others. Thank you for being open so this big world of caring artists can walk this road with you. Prayers for healing, comfort and strength for the family...
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAngela
This must really have been blow to you all, i admire your view on it but i understand it's hard to be possitive .
Still you manage to reach out to comfort others. Wishing you the strength to overcome this and stay strong, there is light somewhere !
I put this quote on one of my BB admissions : Find a place inside where there is joy and the joy will burn out the pain
Hope you can find that place.

Love and hugs,
Lily
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteraenee/Lily
Really sorry that you have to walk this road. The good thing is that what you learn of God while walking here is precious... a lifelong gift that deepens faith in Him, increases knowledge of His tender care, and begets love for Him.

We too endured the cancer cloud for a time. Praise God for a skilled physician. Our final results were all clear.

Praying for you.
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarb
I can remember my Mom telling me 'Who said Life was fair and easy. It can everything you have and then some.' I remember having to dig deep within myself to get through some of what Life would dish out to me. Now that I am on the last part of my life I have learned that everything Life sends, there is a message for you. We just have to open of receive it, good or bad. Hugs and warm wishes as you struggle through this difficult time. Blessed be.
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterA Garden of Threads
thank you for sharing the hope and strength to us.
Your family will be in my daily prayers.
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpeggy gatto
The Lord holds your hands, your heart, your very life because you trust Him. And we lift you up in prayer in Jesus' precious, holy name.
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaryAnn Potter
The words of the Dear Scriptures are so very very true. Hang on to them and God will see you though and he will keep shinning that bright light for your path. Prayers , Hugs and your not alone . .. Blessings Dear One.
xoxoxo
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa RedWillow
Love and hope.
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEarl
So sorry to hear of this recent setback. Keeping you and John in my thoughts!
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLinda
OH Kim!
I was delighted for you both when I'd heard that you would be able to go home for a bit. This must surely feel like a crushing blow, and indeed it is.

I cannot imagine what you are both going through, nor can I imagine how I would be in the same situation. My father died from cancer, but we were somewhat estranged, and perhaps the impact was not the same.

I pray for you and John and send healing light and love your way. I cannot imagine the strength that you both must have to meet this ultimate challenge head on as you are. I don't know how you are managing to keep up your own work schedule either. Your personal strength and determination are examples for all of us.

Be kind to yourself. You too need care. Blessings.
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMarie Z. Johansen
As a (very) recently joining fan of your blog I didn't even know you had this heavy burden to carry - and being from a family with 2 of my siblings battling with cancer too I can (only just) feel what you both are going through.
I shall be adding John and you to my prayers; try not to loose faith and hope - God certainly has a plan with you (and we all would hardly ever chose what He has in mind for us) and in the end, all things serve us for something.
You are an incredibly brave and strong woman; you and your man will come through this. Much love and big hugs from France
Kiki
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKiki
Kim, Your kindness, joyfulness, and faith have touched my life in many ways over the past few years. You have helped me without even knowing it, through your beautiful work and teaching. I echo what others have said here before me, keeping you and John and your whole family in our thoughts and prayers, no longer strangers.
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara B.
Dear Kim,
Your strength and faith is such an inspiration! I have noted this scripture...it's such a good one to remember especially during life's difficult times. I'm sitting outside right now enjoying the cool breeze and wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and keeping you and John in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you a hug and sharing a cool summer breeze with you today. :-)
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBecca Smith
You inspire me always, Kim. What beautiful words you've shared today.....I'm tucking them into my heart. Hold onto the light....and I will, too. Looking for life's blessings and gifts is a great way to begin the week. Thank you~
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJudy
So beautifully written ... you are not alone! Healing prayers and hugs on your powerful journey.
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjoey
My dear friend! I'm so sad to hear about another bump in this unexpected journey. Today, as I do each day, I lift you and John in prayer...today my minister said these words "It's another day of Him taking care of you"..."be reminded, He's good at taking care of us...it's His role, and we're amazed and overwhelmed how He watches and cares over us." Thank you for sharing your thoughts and deepest feelings...we're an online family of friends who cares for you and John. We're praying for a bright report this week.
Hugs!
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBeverly
Hold tight Kim, things will get better! Remember this:

“There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.”

― Leonard Cohen
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBeth Huffaker
Hang in there Kim during this difficult time, out thoughts, love and best wishes are being sent your way.
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDiane
You are so strong and brave and thank you for sharing your story and keeping us updated so we can all send any strength, prayers, hugs and light that we can! I can only imagine how this setback felt for you both. I'm sure that what needs to be done is being done to be able to return you both home in health. Hang in there and feel the strength and love that all of us who care about you both can send. I've recently finished and re-started "The Untethered Soul" - if you're looking for a book that may bring you strength and comfort this may possibly be it. Hang in there!
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJen Hunter
Kim, This photo is breathtaking and I can tell it is from deep in your core. I can only send my love and well wishes during this life event. Know you are being hugged through the universe.
xo
Kelly
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKelly
Bless you, Sweet One, I can hear your struggle in your words. What Sarah wrote is sure correct. We can hear Him always if we turn an ear, any where. (Even in unseemingly godless movies) Will keep fight the good fight for you.
July 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRoxi
Breathe, stay strong - you can do this and you're not alone.
July 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJudy
My thoughts are with you both and your family. You are amazing.
July 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSue
Love that photo of you Kim, sending you and hubby my best wishes.
July 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLeonie-Australia
Throughout all your trials, you can still manage to make others feel good! Best wishes and prayers for you and your family Kim!
July 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAgnes Fegan
Sarah Young's books have been my 'go to' as well. Such a good perspective....through trials. I am glad you can hang onto the positives, as you enter yet another challenge. My heart sunk for you. BUT, there is wonderful song that says: "When you don't understand, when you can't see His hand.... TRUST His heart."
God's plan. One we don't always see the whole picture of, as we travel through it. Your ability to express your feelings, and help others along the way have been amazing. My prayers continue for both of you.
July 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNina G.
You're definitely not alone Kim. There are so many people who read this, who care, who can relate, who feel or have felt the way you're feeling. You still shine with your wisdom, your way of seeking out the good in every single day, your way of balancing on this cord. It is very much like living frame by frame by frame. One moment to the next one, holding on to the littlest of moments, the things that make you feel loved, the things that make you feel grateful and one way or the other, you'll travel forward, most of the time not really knowing how. My thoughts are with you both... Hugs, Ellen
July 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEllen B
I am sorry to hear about this bump in the road to recovery, but so inspired by your words of strength, wisdom, hope and faith. Know that you and yours continue in my thoughts and prayers, and those of this sweet community that you have nurtured.
July 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdannie
this fragile thing called life ~
my thoughts are with you on your journey

~K
July 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren Burns
Kim, when my husband got cancer, for awhile we said cancer was a blessing - so many wonderful things happend once he was diagnosed. He was a teacher and SO many of his students (32 years worth!) wrote messages on Caring Bridge that literally brought tears to his eyes every day. But toward the end, I changed that. I said cancer is a curse - the most horrid disease I have ever encountered. One of the hardest thing people have to go through. But what cancer caused were the blessings. We learned so many great things during the 80 days that he lived with cancer. We learned how precious our love was. We learned how many people loved him. We learned what a great man and teacher he was. Some of that we would not have known without cancer. So always remember to be thankful for the blessings that cancer gives you and John. You have probably thousands of people praying for you. God hears each one of those prayers. So stay strong and keep faith.
July 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJo
So sad to hear John will have a longer journey than you thought, I will continue to lift John and all of you to God in prayer!!!!!!!

God has said "Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."
Hebrews 13:5

"Nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37

Beth Sparkman
July 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbeth sparkman
Kim so sorry to hear your news ... Thinking of you both and the rest of the family... Hugs always...
July 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterViv Halliwell
Great Big hugs and prayers go out to you and your family...
July 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLinda R
I'm so sorry you, John and Ben have to go through this period of uncertainty and pain. But you have a great attitude and that often makes a huge difference in outcome. Thank you for sharing the "Jesus calling" quote with its message of bountiful blessings that are ours just for tuning in. Whether we're seeking hope, vitality, peace or inspiration, the world is ready to share it, patiently waiting for us to notice. May your prayers be answered swiftly.
July 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharon
Oh Kim. I am so sorry to hear this. I will continue to keep John, you and family in my prayers. I wish I could give you a hug. So I'm sending you a virtual hug. God bless you and John.....
July 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaurie
I am so sorry Kim. I just can't image what John and you are going through right now. I think of you often.
July 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercathy @ ma vie trouve
awww, Kim, You are such an inspiration, even when you are feeling low. You will keep facing each new day as it comes with all your strength as that is really all you can do. A positive attitude, even when you dont feel it, does wonders. Be there for John as you are, but don't forget a little Kim time too. I'm sure you've heard all this before, but I've been where you are now and there really is a light at the other side. All my love to you and John
July 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLynn M
Oh Kim, my heart aches for you and John and your family...when I first read this a few days ago, I didn't even know how to respond. I've had my fair share of tragedy and sickness...but never anything like what you are going through...the ups and downs of joy and fear...such a difficult way to live..no matter the length of time...you know my prayers are always with you and John...and also a love for all you do for us who humbly hang with you...the only "gift" I can send you is my love and loyalty, with the hope that you know I am near...for now maybe this quote will help you through..."it isn't the great big pleasures that count the most; it's making a great big deal out of the little ones.." Jean Webster...now I must go look up that book...thank your for the many gifts you send my way...xoxo
July 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercheryl c.
Oh Kim! I am so sorry..
I know well that devastating, disappointing, sinking feeling when one realizes things won't be going the way one thought it would. and there is NO place quite like home...

I am wondering if you have Jesus Today also by Sarah Young... she was going through a really hard time of illness that took her a long recovery when she wrote it... it is a really really good read in situations like this.

I am praying and agree with the prayers said here! big hug...
July 30, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersharon
hi KIM,

in your trial, you remain to be an inspiration ... i see God working in your life ... please continue to hang in there and know that HE works things for the good of those who love HIM. may you continue to honor HIM even while you're hurting, because we know that HE is sovereign and HIS love will surpass all our understanding. i am blessed by your steadfast faith.

April
July 30, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterapril

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