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Tuesday
Nov262013

{Texture Tuesday} Celebration & Revelation

& 2 New Textures

textured with waterfront 7 

Dear friends,

Welcome to another Free & Easy Texture Tuesday. Thanks for stopping by....and sharing your beautiful textured art!

I've decided to continue the Free & Easy TT theme for a while longer...... Still keeping it simple.

I'm so grateful you all continue to pop by and link up your beautiful textured photos...... THANK YOU. 

 ::

Birthday Celebration

Today is Brett's Birthday..... He's 23 years old. I can NOT believe it. Wow....time just keeps moving forward... Doesn't it? I'm feeling a little teary..... cause we can't be with Brett on his birthday..... but I'm so thankful my parents will make a special supper for our boy.... and Benny too.

Happy Birthday Brett... I love you SOOOOO MUCH.... Just writing this makes me cry..... Gosh I miss you... and 'us'..... 

'sigh'

Here's a shot of me....with our beautiful birthday boy.... so happy to have this photo (tired eyes and all).

Texture Time

How 'bout 2 New textures? The Brett Set... take a peak.

List members, watch your Tuesday emails... the download link will be coming your way. Not on the list? Want free textures? Click HERE to register.

Tuesday Truths


These days, I've been pondering acceptance..........

My big revelation..... When I'm in the 'space' of acceptance.... I am most content.

When I accept... even appreciate our situation... any situation for that matter....I am most peaceful. When Iresist I feel knotted-up ...tense, insecure..... I feel awful. Thoughts in my head spinning round and round..... an endless cycle of worry and woe.....

Suffering .... stems from the non-acceptance/resistance of what actually is.....  

What we resists ..... persists....

The idea of acceptance is simple..... yet... at times difficult to process.

Big CONFESSIONS (heavy stuff)

#1 - I have major issues with control... I wanna be in it... ALL THE TIME. 

#2 - I also wanna be right..... especially when my husband and children are involved...hanging head....

#3 - When I am wrong (heaven forbit).... I don't like admitting it.....most especially to my husband and children...still hanging head.... In fact ... I can be darn right defensive.... 

Man....that's tough to admit...... Are you reading this boys? Are you wondering who hijacked my blog? 'smile'.....

This past few weeks... I've been working on my 'stuff'.... I feel a shift....and It's good.

First and foremost ... Acceptance.... When thoughts of resistance come into my head.... I've become more aware.... I do my best to reframe the thoughts. I give it to God.... If I'm struggling....out comes my journal.... I write my thoughts... my worries... my woes....then I do my best to turn them around.

It helps... a LOT.

On being right...and in control.....(a really big truth)

Bryce and I have an intense relationship..... I love him so much....but he can make me CRAZY.... I know he feels the same about me.....

But there's been a shift ... Can you guess why?
Hanging head again........

I'm learning to let go...... little by little....it's getting easier. .... Control is a difficult thing to give up.... But there's a peace between us now.... It's different.... peaceful.....

Here....... all this this time.... I thought it was mostly Bryce's fault..... Hmmmm... Who knew??

I can't help but wonder what things might have been like...back when we were struggling the most.... Perhaps if I simply waited for him on the other side .... with open arms and a loving heart??? I think of all the time I spent resisting ...trying so hard to keep control.... fix things.....how horribly wrong it went....Hmmm.... 
My oh my...that's hard to swallow... But the past is the past.... we are still here.... and we are okay..... It is...what it is..... 

Acceptance......

I often wonder if my lesson from this cancer journey is ...... simply to let go....  

I'd love to hear your thoughts on ACCEPTANCE.... Resistance..... Coping with Life's Challenges?

What works for you? Share your stories below....

Your comments always warm my heart.....

::

Before I sign off... the Latest on John

I wish I could say things were much better. But the truth is..... it's a process.... a long one .....

John's nausea seems to be letting up....Dehydration is the latest concern.... When you get dehydrated .... your blood pressure drops. This leads to dizziness....fainting and falls... Let's just say... we've had a few too many close calls this past several days. It's scary stuff.

But, he's been getting fluids daily since Friday... so Hopefully things will begin to improve.....

John's a trooper.... still thanking God, appreciating life's gifts, and trusting all will be better soon....His faith is amazing!! He inspires me daily.

So thankful......

::

Okay friends... are you still with me?

Let's get this TT started.....

with gratitude.....always....and forever.

xo,

Reader Comments (48)

o o o o I know what you mean about having to be right. That's huge for me. I day I found out I was wrong about something and it was so strange to realize I had believed so strongly that I was right. Made me take note how easily deceived we can be. And control?….. Are we sisters?
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRoxi
Ahhhh... That took courage to write Kim. Well done.

As always, keeping both John and you in my thoughts and sending healing vibes your way.

Angie
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAngie
So insightful Kim , to accept and to go against the tide takes courage. Happy Birthday to Brett and good wishes to John.
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterViv Halliwell
Kim, I am so sorry John is not getting better faster. Thanks for such an honest post. We are all pulling for John!! I sometimes wonder how you can keep up the blog and TT and FF - but then I am guessing this is your only stability. A place to visit friends - to escape the illness. Thank you for this.
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercathy @ ma vie trouve
cancer certainly has a way of letting us know that regardless of every single thing we may thing....we have no control at all.
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commentera spirit of simplicity
I can relate to the need for control, and since dealing with my own health issues in the past few years, I have had to TRY to let go too. As you say, not easy...but when you can achieve it, it does make things better.

Thanks for being here with us and for sharing so openly. You are what has helped me along this journey, and I hope that we in return are helping you too!

Hugs,
Linda
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLinda Kittmer
thank you for sharing that. I needed it, right now, this minute.
I learn from you every single time I visit here.
I hope this week is a turning upward point for john, sending positive thoughts your way.
happy birthday to brent!
and thank you again.
for everything.
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermarie
A big Happy Birthday to Brett, hope your day wonderful.

Kim, wish I could come and give you a big hug, you are such a dear and always such an inspiration and so truthful in your writings. You put it all out there and are so giving you and John deserve so much more.

Keeping you in my thoughts this week that things will be better for all of you. xoxo
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarBbara Hurst
These are all lessons I've been learning lately too. Such an honest, brave post. Happy birthday to Brett and sending love and prayers to John and all of you. xx
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBecs
Oh, Kim, I do understand the 'control' thing ...
circumstances forced me to accept that I can't control everything ... but it's so difficult !

Happy Birthday to Brett !
And all the best for John ... thinking of you all,
Sylvia
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSylvia
It's easy to see he belongs to you! The resemblance is startling! Happy B-day, Brett! The textures are gorgeous! Can't wait to play with them. Thanks in advance for the gift! You're a keeper - and, btw, your blog posts are always interesting - i feel as though you are my "next door neighbor" - as if i've known you forever!
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjayleigh
I really love what you wrote here, so much of it is ringing true for me just now as well.
You have been in my thoughts. Sending you hugs and love. xoxo
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkelly
I to struggle with control. I want to be able to leave it all at Jesus' feet. Thanks for your posts, your continued efforts with your work, when your life is in turmoil. May God give you all the strength you need at each given moment. Happy Birthday to Brett. Children are such a blessing and keep US real :)
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie P
Как я Вас понимаю!Страх,пустота,падение и взлет- с нами всегда надежда и вера и ЛЮБОВЬ - они помогают бороться,поднять голову и смотреть вперед....только вперед и высь,но как долог и тяжел путь. Все будет хорошо! Поздравляю Вас с днем рождения сына !
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterГалина
Happy Birthday to Brett! How handsome he is! And the photo of the two of you is super sweet! :D
All the best for John, I hope he will feel much better soon. xo
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKia
It's not easy admitting these things, I know. I used to be that way too. But I learned that I needed to relax and relinquish control. You have no idea how much easier life is now that I've finally learned how to let go of the control. So I admire that you've admitted this and are making an effort to let go of the control. It makes for a much more peaceful and content life. Sending you and yours many wishes for John's recovery and everyone else's ease.
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDiane
Dear Kim, I am thankful for having been a part of Texture Tuesdays, for being able to receive free textures from you and for being a part of the whole Kim Klassen experience! Thank you for all you do for us and for sharing your story with us. It makes me appreciate what I have when I hear of the struggles that you are going through. Hope you all have a beautiful holiday season.
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJ. Odice
Thank you for sharing so honestly, Kim, your insights touch my heart. There is a wonderful book that I go to for comfort.... "Radical Acceptance" by Tara Brach .... her website also has some lovely offerings.
Sending healing thoughts and energy to you both, especially today on your son's birthday. It must be so difficult to not be together....
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjanet mc
Thank you so much. I love these textures.
As always, prayers for you and your family and happy birthday to your son!
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCarolyn
You bring tears to my eyes with your self actualization and introspection. Learning to identify that the fault lies within us, is the most difficult revelation. I admire you for your honesty and for realizing that we do have to let go. You inspire me to do some self analysis and perhaps admit to my own "buttons". Thank You for sharing. Hugs to you and your family. Happy Birthday to Brett!
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMonica de Moss
That letting go of control over your children is SO hard. I know I have struggled with that a lot the last couple of years. This year I focused more on what to do with my own life, and stopped trying to control hers. What a difference that makes. It still isn't easy and when she is home it is so easy to revert to old ways. Always an ongoing process. Take care my friend. Continued prayers for John and you and the family.
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah
Happy Birthday to your son!!

I gave up control a very long time ago. Not by choice but because the notion of it was ripped from me many times. This is what I'll add: FREEDOM. In the peace and contentment you'll find in giving up control, the bigger truth you'll find is freedom. Freedom to be the person God created you to be and the freedom to let your children be the people God created them to me. The same for your dear John. I cannot describe the joy there is in that freedom. You are left to love them, not control them. (leads to some worry.....yes.....hahaha! we both know they won't let us control them anyway!!)
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjill
When God shows us different sides of ourselves, He does so gently. It sounds like you are learning so much about yourself during this time of cancer and separation from so much that you love. God is unfolding the depths of your character and that is a beautiful thing to witness. Thank you for sharing so openly with all of us. I am continuing to pray for John's recovery and for your heart as you walk this journey with him (and Him!). Blessings to you...
On a side note, the computer tech has been able to salvage my external hard drive and is in the process of transferring my files to a new one! (which I will back up!). :)
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSherre Hulbert
What is the saying -- "Acceptance" is the path of least resistance? True, but left alone with just that thought is far from that reality. Standing by itself, it suggests defeat. But with maturity and knowledge of self, it also suggests change, finding new paths and ways to cope. That, suggests ingenuity and strength. Have you ever come across a path on a hike where you could not get around a big boulder or a bridge that wasn't there.? Did you assess your situation and find a way around the obstacle or did you just give up and retrace your steps back to the start of the trail? Granted,sometimes the obstacle can be so big that you can't forge forward, then what? Did you find a new path, explore your surrounding for treasures just underfoot? Stop, sit down and just think about the beauty around you. Did you get what you wanted our of your walk? If you couldn't take a picture of the summit, did you find equally beautiful images around you that you might not have found in a quest to reach the end of the path?

I think you are doing an extraordinary job on your current journey and surely you inspire us all. You have found other ways of making you happy. You know how to share. So many people keep their thoughts to themselves and become overwhelmed when faced with the "boulder". Keep your dialogue coming. We love you, Kim.
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDellen
Thank you for the lovely textures you send out to us. I love them and hope to try them all out again soon.

I have been struggling with letting go, this time my older son. I spent all but six weeks of the summer with him, a very expensive summer in not only finance but mentally and physically. I am now at the point of having to pretend I am no longer here and watch him trip over life on his own. I can still try to cheer him by phone but we both know I am not good at that and we both know I cannot go down again. It is almost six weeks since I came home and he is sliding down the rabbit hole again. So, yes, I got a reminder from your post. Thanks.

I ran into butting heads trying to get help when my husband was dying. It was like a non-movable wall was always between me and getting the needed help. I finally got hospice for him but it was on the day he died so I was pretty much on my own thru the whole journey.

Take care of yourself. Control can eat you alive. It is worrisome with long term dehydration and what it can do to you. Hugs.

Oh! Ask for a Merry-Walker for John. You will feel more at ease re his wobblies. It does for adults what the little ones are given to support them when they learn to walk. It is a frame with a seat and rolls on wheels only when walking. A strap keeps them from slipping to the floor, giving them a chance to recover. Sorry about the long post but so much came to mind. Laugh and joke about life as much and often as you can, it helps.
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGeri
Kim, I think ANYONE living in human form on this planet is dealing with some degree of letting go of control. For me it was about creating a ‘safe’ place (outside of me) to “BE” in. Experiences from early childhood on gave the illusion that if I tried I could do that. Part of recent learnings is giving up having to have an opinion about things. They just ARE and my decisions about their rightness, wrongness, unfairness, etc. only create my experience of them, including decisions or actions I made in the past. I have used up so much “mental, emotional and physical” energy processing and reprocessing regrets, sadness, guilts, etc. Just read something about what you would do if you went to a movie and realized fairly early that it was a crummy movie. Of course you’d walk out, right? Yet, what do we do? Play those same sad movies (about our life, past or future) over and over. Yeah, easier said than done! So just yesterday I started a new ‘game’ with myself. Remember the Hilights magazines as a child (dating myself!)? There was a page where you could search and find hidden things in the picture. I was prompted in meditation to see, for the day, where I could find evidence of Love. Kind of like having a metal detector… as you get closer, the beeps get louder. Brought back a sense of childlike anticipation and discovery and certainly lifted my energy (duly noted in my gratitude journal)! Maybe BEING is just the ability to be PRESENT with ‘what is’ with a loving, compassionate heart, starting with ourselves. As in the book “Tuesday’s with Morry” (he had ALS), he allowed himself l/2 hour every morning to have one heck of a pity party. Anything that came up the rest of the day was saved for the next day’s l/2 hour. That to me qualifies as compassion for our own humanness! For me, well I’m gonna go see if I can find some evidence of Love! I’ll send it you and John’s way! Oh, there’s some… it’s the download of the Texture Tuesday. Thank you! Blissings and Blessings, Dawn
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdawn
What a wise post...Kim, I relate so deeply to your words about "what resists, persists". I, too, am a person who must feel in control - I have wasted so many years resisting...and still do, to this day. I'm trying very hard to re-learn how my brain works in order to give myself some inner peace. Your words resonate...thank you for giving me food for thought today. I'm so sorry that John has to deal with dehydration right now...I think of you both often and will continue sending positive thoughts and healing prayers every day. {{{hugs and good wishes}}} xo

Happy Birthday to your handsome son! I'm sure his grandparents will make his day very special. (and Ben, too!) <3
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSherri B.
First of all - Happy Birthday to Brett!

What a wonderful and honest post, Kim! I, too, have my difficulties with acceptance... ;-) I guess sometime I feel to accept something is to give up and to not fight any longer, which of course is not the point. But accepting without despairing is the hardest part.

I admire you so much for your honesty and also your attitude - I love how you are sharing your thoughts with all of us. And you get me thinking quite a lot! You truly are an inspiration, Kim!

All the best for you and John and your whole family! I'm sending big warm hugs together with the hope that John will feel better soon!
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRosie Grey
Kim, thanks so much for your gifts to us and for sharing this great truth you have discovered. I too have had issues with control . I saw a sign a few years ago that took a big load off me. It was 'I HEREBY RESIGN AS GENERAL MANAGER OF THE UNIVERSE'
Happy Birthday to your son and will keep you and DH in my prayers.
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGloria
Which of us does not want to control? and if someone says no, I suspect s/he's just in denial. It's how our society is. :(

Before my current husband and I got married, we realized that we'd both rather be right than happy. Oh baby...what a revelation. 12 years down the road, it's still an issue though at least we realize it. Life is all about growth isn't it...
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermaureen
Kim,

This is a beautiful post. Most of us struggle with the same things, to varying degrees, and diverse times. Recognizing our weaknesses certainly is always a step in the right direction.

I am so sorry for the troubles your family is going through, with cancer. I am lifting you all right now, to our loving heavenly father.

Thank you for the nice textures too. <3

God bless you richly always, in all ways.

Grace
https://www.facebook.com/gpdillon
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGrace Dillon
Hi Kim, Acceptance is a big hurtle I had to jump with my son came home from Afghanistan with an Operational Stress Injury. Being his Mom I thought it was my job to fix all his problems, but it is not. They were his problems and for him to look after. After I accepted all that was out relationship improved…not to say some days he drives me crazy. But he moving forward and has found someone and is getting married. She takes him with all his faults.

So I do understand where you are having issues with acceptance, it is such a hugh pill to swallow but so much relief once to you. Remember one day at a time and this to shall pass.

Take care, Jen
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterA Garden of Threads
Thank you so much Kim for sharing your thoughts. Acceptance has always been a VERY difficult thing for me as well...I'm hanging my head right along with you. It is so difficult accepting that things come to us with no easy solution. Every time I think things are finally smoothing out something else will pop up to challenge me. This week it is my sweet little grey...an epileptic for most of her 6 years I'm having to face the possibility of losing her sooner than I'm ready for. But I'm accepting each day with her as a gift.
Hoping that John continues to improve a bit each day...your strength will see you both through these dark days. My thoughts are always with you! Cat
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCat Sadowski
I love the photo of you and Brett together with his arm holding you close and secure. And I'm guessing you were holding him just as snugly around his waist. With all the turmoil you, John, and the boys have endured this year, I am so-o-o-o glad you have the comfort and support of family. And I must say...I'm totally impressed that, despite your many challenges, you find the time to create beautiful photos and textures to share with us. You truly are amazing!

You are an inspiration for sure...
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWanda
Dear Kim: We are coping with my Mom's Alzheimer's Disease, slowly losing the person that she was, along with all the other related medical issues. Today started out to be a bad day, but when I read your words about acceptance, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. Thank you for sharing this insight, with all you are dealing with yourself. Please know your words helped very much this morning. I think of you and your family often.
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLynn
I love your honest heart! Brett is such a cutie and the children growing seems to get go faster and faster as they get older...sigh! Thank you for always giving an update on John. Power in numbers my friend. xoxo always.
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKelly
Your "big confessions" ARE "heavy stuff" I've felt the weight of them too, especially #1, #2, and #3! But #1 recognizing them, #2 admitting them and #3 sharing them are HUGE, Kim. God's word says, "a bruised reed He will not break" God's yoke is light, giving Him our "heavy stuff" isn't easy. It's a process, a painful one. But the results are just what you are experiencing - PEACE. His PEACE. I'm so thankful that you're experiencing that peace in the midst of your storm.Wishing you and John a week of tangible blessings.
November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJune
Love the two textures, Kim. Especially BB2 which I used in my image today.

Being a control freak myself, I wish that I had all the answers to give you on control & acceptance, but part of my journey is realizing that I don't have the answers -- and that's okay. I try to just take it one day at a time. And keep repeating the Serenity Prayer.

Best to you & John as you continue on this journey.
November 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnne Camille
Acceptance has always been my biggest problem, and I'm older than you. I'm finally coming to terms with it. Sorta!
November 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLarraine
I really like your work and I ask myself when I'll try out my first texture as well. But as far as I can see (on the internet) nearly no male photographer uses textures - only ladies are delighted to use this type of post processing. Am I right!?

Regards from sunny, but cold Germany,
Uwe.
November 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterUwe
Wonderful photos and post. Thanks for the new Brett textures - cool!
November 27, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpat
Hi Kim,
It's been about a year and a half since I've visited your blog. I am sad to hear about John's cancer and glad to see you are still blogging, teaching, etc. I just lost my job but I am going to start selling my art online. I am developing a store, finally! It's going to be tight for sure, but my Mr. Wonderful and I will get by. I've read up on your past posts about John and thought I would share an amazing video about a woman who has been a quadriplegic for 45 years. Then three years ago she got breast cancer and then had a mastectomy. She is a believer in Christ, you may have heard of her, Joni Eareckson Tada. This video will comfort anyone who is suffering. This is her journey, her story. Hope it helps you...Julie

http://youtu.be/jrO5fGSIyM8
November 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulie Legg Photo
On this day before Thanksgiving here in USA I want to tell you how thankful I am for you and all you have shown me. Whether it's your classes, textures, Texture Tuesday, or your emails, you always have something wonderful to share. This post is a perfect example of your generosity and your gift of yourself. Your honesty and vulnerability really is a gift to all of us. I have been struggling lately with a lot of issues of control and resistance and your post has summed up just what I need to hear. We just got a new refrigerator the other day and it is an LG brand. I've been waiting for a while for this and I think it will be good to have the "LG" in front of me all day as I pass in and out of the kitchen. I definitely need to Let Go! And in my personal growth through all of this I've seen how futile resistance is and how much we suffer when we do resist. Thank you for this honest and open account. When you shine your light on us, we all light up for the better.

I wish you and your family peace and grace during this trying time you are in. My heart goes out to you especially. I'm continuing to pray for John and you and your boys. I know there is a rainbow at the end of all this. Thank you again for being here for us so often and for your wonderful textures and tutorials and classes but most of all for your gift of yourself as you shared again today. Love you tons!

Eileen
XOX
November 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEileen S.
Kim,

I could have written much of this myself. Seriously.
Embrace the cross.

God bless...
xoxo
November 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCindy Swainson
Oh Kim....such lovely photos of you and Brett! Such a handsome young man~with his arm around his beautiful mom.
I know only too well about control...I've had some very serious chats with myself about letting go, too. Good for you. You always inspire me! Keeping you and John in my thoughts and prayers... xo
November 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJudy
Hello Kim and Happy Belated Birthday to Brett and MANY wishes for a much smoother completion for John's journey.
I loved reading your post and I think that we are all born with the need to "control". Even taking our first steps and saying our first words are a from of control and it just grows from there.......it's just all in how we control the CONTROL that makes or breaks us. Things happen in our lives that force the control within us to kick in and take over and that's a GOOD thing, sometimes.
It sounds to me that you're taking control of your control! Bravo!
Hugs,
November 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl M
Dear kim this post was so honest and my heart goes out to you I have three sons and have been through tough times with them as well. I'm very small and very obstinate and find it so hard to admit when I'm wrong, I feel so blessed with a wonderful husband and my sons two of my boys have the same disability as I have so there is all sorts of guilt there! I've always had to fight for everything and I think this adds to my stubbornness. It's so hard looking at one self honestly I'm not sure if you will have time to read this, but my heart goes out to you and remember god made you and he doesn't make mistakes you are precious to so many people especially to your family and god xxx
December 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChris
Over 25 years ago a dear friend's husband dropped dead with a heart attack. He was shoveling a neighbor's driveway.
Afterwards the friend told me that ALL she could do was to accept and that she was working on that daily.
I have remembered her words so often and learned more and more how true they were.
I very much enjoy your textures but even more the beautiful and loving thoughts you share.
Like others I am praying for you and your family. May you find acceptance and with it….. peace.
January 4, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSallie K

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