Find Me...

Vimeo Channel

 

Join the Mailing List

Sign-Up Below to receive free textures, special offerings and the latest updates.

Receive Blog via Email

Enter Your Email address. 

Delivered by FeedBurner

Join the Community

“Texture

“14

 

FREE LR Catalog Class


Search the Site

« Friday Finds - A Few of My Favourite Things | Main | Texture Tuesday - Please Hold..... »
Tuesday
Jan282014

Texture Tuesday - From the Other Side

 

celebrating.....pretty things & perfect poloroids....

Dear friends,

Welcome to another Free & Easy Texture Tuesday. Thanks for stopping by....and sharing your beautiful textured art!

The theme - Free & Easy ...... 

Once I'm settled....... and on track.... we will get back to some TT themes.....

Until then.....Free & Easy..... it is.....


The Other Side

First... I've missed you. Seems like forever. Thank you for all the welcome home messages.... so kind!!

I'm here!! At my beautiful desk.... surrounded by my 'things'....... Benny... snoozing....at my feet.... Boys in the background.....So good. So grateful.

John is thrilled to be home. This is where he should be. I'm continually amazed by his strength....courage......his faith.......... He inspires me.... daily

We made it.

Homecoming

We arrived on Friday.....Seeing Benny in the drive.... tail wagging.....big hug and lots of kisses...... walking through the door.... familiar, cozy.....safe.... The best!!
Once all the 'stuff' was unloaded.... we sat together on the love seat (like we always have)...he snuggled up close and fell fast asleep......as if the past 8 long months never happened..... exactly what I needed....

Emotion

A few days in...... Emotions..... bubbling up, and over....... A flood....the gates have opened......

I'd love to say it's been nothing but joy & gratitude....but, truth be told....... along with all kinds of good and gratitude......there's...sadness....... frustration....stress....

The reality of 8 months.... GONE.... a lot to process..... When you are 'in-cancer'....it's all about the cancer.....Every thing....
Staying at the Port...a bit like being in a bubble.... all we left behind.....was simply.......left behind......

Now

I go to the studio... stacks of mail.... papers.... so many receipts.......voicemail....Oh my...... I turn on the lights .... bulbs burnt out..... simple things....... yet so symbolic....

Life didn't wait ...... time marched on. So clear ... now that we're home....

Surreal.... difficult to express..... a little sad.... 

I know.... this sounds ungrateful..... I mean seriously... WE ARE HOME....John is WELL......We are BLESSED. Our prayers have been answered. I should be nothing but joy-filled..... I shouldn't be stressing about the mail, the bills..... or burnt out bulbs.....

But sometimes.... you just gotta give into the sadness...the worry......the stress.... if only for a moment or 2 or 10....
Then pick yourself up...dust yourself off....and move on......

And so..... I am ...... Marching on.....

As I pour this... out....onto the 'page'....a sense of....relief........  letting go... It helps! Thank you.

What I know for sure....

In this very moment.... this space....our place....
I am happy... I am grateful... I am HOME..... All is well.

Tell me..... can you relate to my woes?  

Been there before? Any wise words? Your thoughts are always a gift. 

Time to sign off..... bundle up.....and head out.... Ben is ready for his night time walk..... minus 41..... Seriously!!!??!  Thank God for a northface parka... warm winter woolies......and....Benny...He makes everything okay.....

See you Friday....if not before..... So much to do.... and share... I can not wait to dive in!

Thank you for listening...for sharing... ... your prayers, emails.... encouragement...gifts....EVERY SINGLE THING..... We are FOREVER grateful.

with so much love....

 

xo, 

Link away my friends....

Reader Comments (56)

I'm so happy for you guys!!! <3
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPieni Lintu
Kim tears in my eyes so glad you are both back where you should be amongst family and friends. Take time to process my friend this is where all your dreams will come true , nest and enjoy ... Hugs to you all.
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterViv Halliwell
I have never lived through anything this difficult. My tears flow for you Kim.. and John. So happy you are both home. Together. Happy new year! Beautiful photo of Ben : ) and minus 41 - yee gads...hop on over and visit me in Singapore - a constant 85!
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commentercathy @ ma vie trouvee
I was looking forward to this post, Kim, so so happy you and John
are back home !
Take time to enjoy ... thanks for sharing your feelings ... so touching ...
Gorgeous photos ... Ben is such a sweetie !
Hugs,
Sylvia
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSylvia
I'm so happy to hear you've made it back home!
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLinda
I think it's perfectly normal to feel this way. Now that the immediacy of treatment and cancer has passed you can allow yourself to think and process all that has happened. Give yourself time to process all of it and then move forward into the joy of being home.
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarole
Glad to hear you and John are home together and doing well! Don't feel guilty about being emotional -- it's all part of the experience.

Oh, and gorgeous photos as usual...
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterZandarmid
I can't even begin to imagine what you are feeling. Within joy and gratitude, you certainly have every right to feel overwhelmed and stressed by all the life you missed and what you have to catch up with!
So pleased that you are home. I remember when my dad was ill...it was like living in a bubble and I couldn't believe that life around me was still going on as normal...be gentle with yourself and take it slow. Lovely to see a Ben picture. :) Sending love. x
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBecs
What joyful news! Welcome home. I don't have words to express my joy! I can imagine it is a lot to process. :) Peace.
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSarah
One day at a time Kim. All your emotions are perfectly expected and normal. You, John and your family have been through a very difficult time. You are home now. So much to adjust to I am sure! I will continue to pray for you and your family. I always look forward to your posts and continue to go back to your classes I purchased. You are amazing and so talented. Your tutorials are wonderful. I hope to start linking soon. Thanks for all you do!
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngela
Yes, surreal. When a loved one is in the hospital and you spend your days there, life does become surreal. My experiences were much shorter than yours but yes, I remember so clearly coming out of the hospital each day and looking around me in wonder that the world still moved along in a normal way.

It's almost like you lived somebody else's life for eight months but you could pinch yourself and know that it was real. Now you're home and it feels right but maybe not quite real just yet. You pinch yourself and you know it's real ... but it just takes your heart and head a little longer to get around it all. But it will come.

And Beautiful Ben ... lovely to see him this morning.

It's still {for each of us} just one. day. at. a. time.

xo - Welcome Home!!
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDotti
I'm so happy you are home! When I saw that you were on your way, I thought to myself "go slow, Kim" it's going to be an adjustment. Suddenly all those mundane things hit you and overwhelm you. Plus who doesn't dislike mail, and bills, and burnt out light bulbs! Just go slow.
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBarb
Welcome back, dear Kim! I think that now you are home, and John is on the mend, you can be more relaxed and 'allow' yourself to stress out about lightbulbs and such other mundane things. It's a sign of healing......
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCindy M
so glad to have you back at your home base Kim, you deserve to be happy there with everything that makes you happy. Love the image of ben so sweet is this guy in your life. Take it easy right now on your self in everything you do, pamper yourself you have been through a shock as much as your husband. Hugs to you and your family.
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBarBbara Hurst
Welcome Home! So thrilled for y'all.
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth Dianne
So glad that things are starting to get back to normal, even though it's got to be rough - you both are so inspiring :)
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKaren c
I smiled at your description of the relief to be home! Congratulations on reaching this milestone! And I felt sad at your description of the loss of precious time. I know it all to well since the majority of last year was devoted to diagnosing and curing my husband's cancer. It is time lost forever, and I can't help but feel anger about how the joys of daily life passed us by while our whole world revolved around our battle of the disease. But it is done, over with. What is past is past. And I rejoice that we still have a future. I know that you are both rejoicing too!
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M.
Beautiful series of photos with the unburdening of your heart. Home. Healing. This is powerful. All I'll suggest is that you not panic over lost time, but allow yourself even a bit more time to settle in...to gently find a rhythm again. Prayers for continued blessings!
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAdrienne
So happy that you both are at home! Tears falling ... Let them cleanse and just flow ~ it may feel a sort of anticlimax being confronted by the e-mails, light bulls that's broken - and thereby the loss of 8 months off "everyday life." Tears of joy, tears of sorrow, tears of healing .., At home, one can relax a bit more, loosen up and maybe let go of the need of being strong. The art of learning to be fragile, being boldly weak ... Beautiful Ben, a faithful friend - he must be so happy having you all back home!
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNina
So saddened to hear about your current battles...that ugliness has been the cause of much sadness and emotion in my life as well, so I definitely know how you are feeling...or at least can relate on a personal level. So glad that you are both back home...among your usual surroundings. One day at a time...the photos are lovely and I look forward to future updates. Sending big hugs & prayers your way.
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMitzi
I'm so glad that you are home - it's so nice to see a picture of Ben!!
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSheila
Oh yay, you're home!!! I have been reading your blog for the past months waiting for this moment and it has happened. I am so happy you are where you belong again. I do relate to those woes...It used to be mind-boggling to me how life had just marched on whilst I was standing still, walking backwards or so it seemed. It started almost two years ago and it has been over for a year now and I too felt sad, incredibly exhausted and weird that everyone had just done their stuff in the mean time. Children had grown in that year, their faces changed, friends had just lived their lives, went out to dinner or the theatre etc. It is weird, I could not get my head around it at times. You'll be fine in a little while, your system might still be in red alert, but that too will pass in time. In the mean time....I am so relieved you found your way back to your home, to your life... xxx Ellen
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEllen
Home at last! I'm so happy that things are starting to get back to normal for you and your family. Ben is beautiful.
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPat
You are feeling exactly as you should…let it go..let it happen and in time it will all come back together, the same but differently…sort of a new same…I know you are thankful and feel blessed…that was never a doubt but I also know that when your world is turned upside down and your going on survival mode…that the shit will hit the fan after the crisis is over…a bit blunt there wasn't I…but that's how I felt and I questioned it…so really Kim, your o.k. doing the rest of the work right now. You'll get there, trust me…xoxo
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commentercheryl c.
Kim, a very long road you and John have traveled. After focusing mainly on a loved one, going back to the "normal" may take a bit of time….as other's have said…take it slow…and easy…ease back gradually while you enjoy your own place again, with Ben at your side and feet bringing you back to the home you once knew. I can only imagine the propensity to step back into the same routine you had, before cancer, and it will return again. As Nina says, tears are healing, it all comes from emotions held inside for so long. But, Joy comes in the morning! xxoo
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBeverly
Ooooo KIM...you've given me the sniffles...again! I'm so happy that you and John are home with Benny and the boys. I can so relate to your journey. Not in the physical sense of being away from family and friends but living CANCER. When you are there, going through it, dealing with it day by day... the bubble forms and there is no past, no future just NOW and the realization that what you NEED to do is just survive, daily. My cancer should have been caught this month 10 years ago. But the doctor was in the midst of a lawsuit and was lax in telling me to get a mammogram...so I waited. In July when the lumps were the size of large grapes I KNEW that when he made that phone call it wasn't "cystic breasts' he was calling the Breast Center about. But still I went alone to the Center because I didn't want anyone else to worry.

Well...obviously my journey was different but still CANCER is cancer. But like you and John I didn't concentrate on what was but what was going to BE! I knew there was something I still needed to do. At the time I thought it was to continue painting but this past summer I realized that painting didn't completely fill me up like it had when I was in my 20's. That's when I re-discovered YOU and began this sacred journey with you and your family. I feel blessed to 'know' you and all those who participate with you on Tuesdays and Fridays. Be assured that sadness, anger, happiness, joy and TEARS are all a part of our journey...whether or not we are called on to deal with cancer or not. You are still in shock and have left a big part of your life behind at the Port. Let the feelings happen and don't block that flow of emotions...you need to let go of the 'shoulds' and just be where you are! We're happy to have you anyway you want/need to be!
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCat Sadowski
Hi Kim, I am so happy everyone is home and the family be together again. Yes I have been there…you run so much emotion for so long, when the difficultly stops the body seems to shut down. You hit the brick wall and there is nothing left to give because there is nothing to give for. Give yourself permission to relax and fill the well back up. Warm hugs. Jen
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterA Garden of Threads
Well Kim I have 7 words "yes, I can relate to your woes"..

PS..Glad you once again home...and safe!

Hugs, to you both...
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterK and S Inn (Kris)
It looks like you've already gotten plenty of good advise from everyone. All I can say is that I think it's good to get those thoughts out of your head so they don't get too blown out of proportion. Eight months gone? No, just eight months different...and now... here you are on the other side. Something we're all so happy about!

But just in case you're not quite ready yet, I would avoid looking under the bed. Agghhh...the dust bunnies were busy while you were away :o)
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBeth Huffaker
Kim, I am so happy for you and John finally being home again. Ben, I can't imagine what he felt and thought. I love animals so much and I can't help but feel that lump in my stomach when you mention him. But my heart is over flowing with love for you and John. I will keep John in my prayers.
You were gone for so many daily events that the build up would blow any one over -I would freak and stress big time! That, I believe, is normal. Just be sure to take care of yourself, take it one day at a time. All of a sudden, one day, it'll hit you - life is back to normal. And it'll feel so good.
Love and a big hug to you Kim,
Laurie
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLaurie
But that's real, that's raw, that's the way it is suppose to be.
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSarah
So glad your family is once again back home and prayers for continued healing for your husband.
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPeabea
So happy for you both....to be finally HOME.
Emotions were pushed down for all this time. Days into weeks, weeks into months....while you helped John fight for his life.
With the pressure easing up, it's normal for all that emotion to start coming back up. Just let it out.
You're strong. And, you have a lot of love, sent your way. Not the least of all, from your sweet Ben.
Stay warm. Welcome home.
God bless.
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLinda/patchwork
Much is probably delayed grief for all that you've been through, all of the what ifs throughout the journey, all of the fears pushed aside so you could be strong for your husband, your boys, your parents. Also, relief and release. And gratitude for now with that little fear still buried deep inside.

You are strong and even stronger now from your journey. All is well.
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKathe
Oh the rejoicing that you are all home. Where you should be. Such beautiful words to read again!
I cherish your honesty. When things get you down, remember you always have the Love Seat. What a beautiful picture you painted for us when you wrote about sitting there..... xo
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJudy
hi Kim, your posts and your work are a constant inspirations. I don't comment often, as a cancer survivor I am not sure I know what you are going through; I wasn't the support or the foundation that made the battle possible.
I know as a survivor I took time to recover, but also rushed wanting "normal" to return; there was only a new normal. Priorities are shifted and I want so much more to find joy each day. For a while I was more tired than I wanted to be, and I struggled to find that new normal.
May your new normal be blessed with joy, gratitude, and love.
I do look forward to reading your blog each week
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjmeyersforeman
Oh KIM!!! and JOHN!!!! and BENNY!!!! I've got goosebumps and am doing a happy dance for you all. And boyyyyy, did you hit the nail on the head about time marching on. It doesn't stand still for nothing or nobody. As I went through last year with my mom, I realized that what I'm feeling now, is perfectly normal. There is always a grieving process to anything lost. You are grieving the loss of time, Johns health, Benny, being away from home, your comfort, your things...I could go on and on. So you are grieving, let the process happen and know that in time it gets better. I KNOW you are a positive thinking person and in life events such as these, finding something good out of this life changing event will only help that positivity (if that's not a word...it should be!) flow. You now have an experience that has had its hand in shaping and molding a little bit more of who Kim Klassen is. You be in control instead of the "it" controlling you. I hope this makes sense because it's where I am today and I choose to pay it forward and make good out of something so life changing and painful. xo
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKelly
Dearest Kim, John and family,

I was so thrilled to read that you are back to a safe haven at home. My tears well at the thought of the happiness when you came to your driveway to see Ben, your home, your family, your own space. My thoughts have frequently wandered to you over the past months... hoping that all was going well..wondering when we didn't hear from you.. relieved when we did hear from you.

It's time to decompress, enjoy your family, lean on your family and slowly reach your new normal. You are a strong woman and I appreciate your honesty. Give Ben hugs...that may be your best therapy : }

Until your next post,

Shelley R
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShelley R
It's good to just let it pour out…all the emotions…. good and bad because they ARE real. No sense in pretending… not with us anyway! Soooooo glad your back and it's good to see Ben. Don't you just love the 'smell' of your place. Somehow I wish that could be captured in a photo. Smells….. the last thing to be virtual….
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRoxi
Welcome home ! Take things easy, it will all settle into place in it's own time. Just enjoy being back home with your beloved Ben and finding your routine again :)))
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaz
Вместе - дома - это счастье !!!! Жизнь -это и белое и черное,радость и горе,познаем радость в сравнении с горем....Дай бог что бы было меньше черных полос,а больше света-солнца и добра !!!
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterГалина
It is soooo good to know you're back home where you all belong.....together! LOVE your images as always and especially getting to see Ben again!
It sounds as if there's another "transformation" happening, getting settled back in, but remember......just breathe and this too shall pass.
{{{{{Big hugs}}}}}
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl M
Kim, just as you feel the joy and gratitude, you must allow yourself to grieve, to acknowledge the pain so that it can be expressed and thus leave your body forever. Blessings to you and your family, and may you all be blessed with more happy days and wonderful times together....and lots of walks for Ben!
January 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRosanna
I absolutely relate, different scenario same feelings. A major illness in the family takes it's toll and for some time you can go through the motions automatically. It's the body's reaction to fight through it, and then at some point you have a complete breakdown, sobbing tears in walgreens waiting for medication laying on a bench with your head in your husbands lap...because you don't want your son to see you cry like that...or make him worry any more than a 16 year old should. I had high hopes that when we stopped my sons infusions for his rheumatoid arthritis (off six weeks now) that it would all just go away, and never come back. But he is starting to have pain again, and his fingers are looking like that of an 80 year old man and it means he will most likely have to back on this medication that puts him at risk for lymphoma...life sometimes is like a double edged sword, and you have to choose the side that isn't as sharp. Give yourself time to get reacquainted with being home and back into a routine there, to grieve the time lost. Loads of love for you all! xo
January 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKim
What a beautiful photo of Benny, such a sweetie, I think what you are feeling would be natural Kim, sometimes when we are busy surviving something hard it really hits you when you are out the other side, the reality of all you have survived sinks in, I think you just have to let the emotions happen as they need to. x
January 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLeonie -Australia
I am so happy for you!!! All change takes time to relax into, even when we have prayed, dreamed and longed for it. How you feel is how you feel, there is no rule book. Give yourself time.
Thank you for sharing your journey.
Michelle
January 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle B
Kim, Welcome home! Please don't let the negative self-talk of guilt enter your head. Your feelings are genuine, whatever they may be. It took me a long time, over a year, to fully recover from my husband's battle with cancer. And even now, when he just walked in the door with a clear CAT scan report, I breath a sigh of relief. I remember coming home from our little townhouse where we stayed for the 100 days after his stem cell transplant, and I still remember the mixture of happiness and hardship that awaiting us here at home. We love both you and John like family and continue to pray for you and stanad by you in this journey.
January 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDonna
Just reading this and I am SIGHING WITH HAPPINESS for you all..... Glorious home-coming.... LOVE YOUR DOG!!! What a precious friend :)
For now only wishing your John and your family God's blessing, the time to gather your thoughts and a new 'walk of life' and much, much joy along. Shall check out the beautiful contributions others sent. That's an additional joy for one whose eyesight is failing and rendering it very difficult for me to continue my much beloved photography. THANK YOU for being so strong, positive and cheerful in spite of it all.
January 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKiki
Kim, I think it is the stress of the last 8 months that is coming out now that you are home. Give yourself time and space to process everything. I can relate a little bit--most of my household items are in storage in another city while I live with a sister and her family while I search for a "real job". I am so looking forward to the day when I can have my own space again, and have all my stuff nearby. Yes, it's only stuff, but a sense of home is really important to many of us.

In the meantime, I rejoice with you that you are home and that John is well and you are re-united with your beloved furry friend! Looking forward to your future artistic offerings. I'm learning so much from you!
January 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGrace

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
All HTML will be escaped. Hyperlinks will be created for URLs automatically.